Using the Time Wisely

 Now that I'm a grandfather again, I find myself absorbed with the thoughts of Khloe, and how I told myself to "be guarded" on getting too attached. Losing Sophia was just to much for all of us.
 But, of course, we go on.
 Our family has taken a lot of hits in the local paper's obituary section lately, including my father.
 But, of course, we go on.
 I do not want people to think I am the only one who has been forced to grind through the day, but I just choose to express what I know about my feelings here. I have not totally hidden my anxiety and defeat, but 95% is suppressed.

 So now that I have thrown out the "be guarded" plan, I struggle, sometimes, with my concentration (except when driving my truck). I am learning to funnel my love and euphoria over Khloe, to a place that makes me a better person. I guess some would say that's a sign of low self-esteem, but I define it as my old "who gives a shit" attitude from my past; distant and not-so distant. But, none the less, I know I am changing slowly, real slowly, but a change anyway...